well... i found out that my girl wont be on for a week... V_v... god i really do hate parents some times.... they do the stupidest of things! i dont blame them to much tho... it is hard to keep sain after aving to care for a 2 year old, with all of there noisy toys..... seriously... why do they all have to talk? i mean, ITS A FREAKING LAWNMOWER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!! its not supposed to talk!!! but whatever...

so yeah... no talky talky to my girl for a week...(please mean five days!) i only got to talk to her for about 25 minutes last night... so im not to greatly satisfied.... i went golfing today, almost ended up at the wrong coarse tho... and i told her not to call so MY parents wouldnt get suspicous, for i thought my mom would pick em up... but my uncle does, and he already knows about her... so told her not to call for nothing... then i get home and i sleep for about 3 hours, then hang with my friends... find out that one of my frineds, that likes my girl, (yay, she hardly likes any of the girls i take a liking to... tho i only dated one other^_^) has been dating some one for 3 weeks.... i was surprised, for im usualy one of the first people to know that sort of thing.... i was wondering why she was talking about him so much... then i hear hes only 2 blocks away.... and she sees him every day... and that put me in a downer mood....

right now i feel like the only guy on earth that cant see his girl... dont get me wrong... i would wait my entire life for her... im not going any where with out her... but it just sucks... and it makes me jealous... i want to walk a beach with her... walk across the park... sit in the shade at a base of a tree... anything.... and it drives me crazy that i cant, couse for one thing... i never wanted to do any of that stuff with anyone else before... and now, it is such a bad urge... i almost cry, leteraly, when i see other couples, YOUNGER than me and my girl, fufilling everything I want to do with my girl... i just get so jealous... but just one more year after this one.... then her parents will alow her to date.... god i can not wait for that time to come... and i sure hope shes not one of those poeple that only want to date some one, JUST to piss of there parents... i mean like, i hope she doesnt leave me, just becouse her parents like me... but im preety sure pissing them off is juat a bonus....

i really do hope she loves me, like she says she does... couse im not joking around... i am in DEEP love with her... i mean it when i say i want to be with her, for the REST of my life... of course, only if itll make her happy... ill do anything to make her happy... there is nothing i wouldnt do just to see her smile one more time... i hope she knows i mean every word i have ever said in my poems... i just hope she really trusts me... i just hope she knows, and realizes... she can open up to me... she can tho all her problems she cant deal with to me... that she can just pour out her heart to me... im NOT going anywhere... im not just playing her heart... i am here for her, and im NOT MOVING FROM HER SIDE! i am in complete love with this women... and i just wanted her to know... as all these people as my witnesses... that, Lynne, Irene G., i AM in complete and uder love with you! you have me by your side... i will make sure you feel safe going threw any sistuation. i will make sure to comfort you at night... i STILL want to prove them all wrong... that we CAN make it... I AM here for you Lynne, i love YOU! you and only you.

yet love is still not a strong enough word to say how i feel...